I figure it's time to post an update, and perhaps a final update, to my situation over the past month.
My family consists of a high school sweetheart and two adopted half-sisters she brought with her from a previous marriage. They were neglected (mostly) by their birth mom, and she adopted them into her 12+ year marriage that had been childless. What she thought was a perfect marriage, turned out to be another nightmare for the kids, and they had to leave, and moved back here (home) 4+ years ago. We resumed our relationship, and after a year or so of that, we became a "family" (No visions of the Brady Bunch here.... really).
The youngest was young enough to have been spared most of the neglect/abuse of the birth mother, and didn't understand most of the abuse of the adoptive father. This was not the case with the oldest. She was "damaged" by the neglect of the early years, and the "out of the frying pan and into the fire" of the second "Safe" home, left it's mark.
We thought we were making progress over the years. Measuring her ability to relate to people and things, regain language (she had no language skills at age 4), and start to integrate into normal life. She advanced years emotionally and mentally while with us here.
But, the early damages were too great, it seems. As we overcame one set of issues, others would come up. The seizures were the last "nail" so to speak. Once that happened, and the events around her altered behaviour, too many people from the "system" got involved, and she found out "Wow, I can manipulate everyone." The past few months she has tried to destroy what family we have made, and has done things that have been impossible to over come.
In the process she has injured herself, and others.
This weekend was the final event, which those of you who feel my absence here has affected you personally will appreciate.
She had been released from treatment early in the week, and things were OK (as they always were) for a few days. She started acting up again, in little ways, then at the wedding Saturday (my wifes brother was remarried) she was getting more and more ramped up because she could not be the center of attention. At the grandparents afterwards (it was about a 3 hour ceremony with lunch) she still had not calmed down, and we decided enough was enough and we would just go home. She didn't like that, and got mad (as she always did).
I saw her ready to run, and just missed getting the door. I chased, and slipped, and caused major injury to myself. Almost got 911'd myself -- but I was lucky. As a doctor I knew I could probably avoid going to the hospital (since I was breathing), but that was about all I was doing. Let me add one more voice to those who say movies are "fake" since anyone who gets up and walks (much less runs) after a crushing blow to their ribs is obviously in the movies (or a superman).
She was found over a mile away by the police, and she tried to run on them several times. She got away, and tried to jump in front of a truck. Actually, she did, but the truck missed her. Well... she got 302'd, and those who got injured had to recover.
She is now "safely" locked away, at least for 30-60 days now, because of the suicide attempt. They will not be pushing for us to take her home. Her new doctor has agreed that she needs placement, and that she needs a locked institution for atleast awhile while she works out her anger, and feelings that running is a game, and solves her problems.
Mom is of course a wreck -- "I'm a failure as a mom"... but that is natural. What is also natural, is that the "system" doesn't understand why they are seeing this now, since we had been able to care for her for so long. She is just too big, and running too often for us to keep at home.
Fortunately, she is 'full out' now, and showing them the full extent of what we had been dealing with.
What this means, and I know it sounds somewhat cold, is that I have my life back, and we can start healing as a family, and trying to deal with what has happened to us the past 4 months or so, and the new reality that she will need outside care/therapy for awhile.
For those who have felt my absence has impacted them personally, cheer up. I'll be back, and catching up with what has been left hanging for the past 4 months or so.
For everyone else, who has expressed their support and concern privately and otherwise, we really do thank you, since the random "We are thinking about you" messages have really helped during this period.
Oh, and as a foot note.... for those who are interested in how black the cloud that has been over me is, in addition to the family issues, and the family injured in the WTC events, yesterday my sister in law and my neice and nephew were taken for anthrax testing, after a package of unknown white powder was found in her offices area (the kids had been there the day before). She is a professor at a University here, so they took the threat (or unknown) seriously.
It has been said what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. If that is true, a few more events, and I'll be ready to enter myself in the He Man contests.
PUGDOG� Enterprises, Inc.
The best way to contact me is to NOT use Email.
Please leave a PM here.
My family consists of a high school sweetheart and two adopted half-sisters she brought with her from a previous marriage. They were neglected (mostly) by their birth mom, and she adopted them into her 12+ year marriage that had been childless. What she thought was a perfect marriage, turned out to be another nightmare for the kids, and they had to leave, and moved back here (home) 4+ years ago. We resumed our relationship, and after a year or so of that, we became a "family" (No visions of the Brady Bunch here.... really).
The youngest was young enough to have been spared most of the neglect/abuse of the birth mother, and didn't understand most of the abuse of the adoptive father. This was not the case with the oldest. She was "damaged" by the neglect of the early years, and the "out of the frying pan and into the fire" of the second "Safe" home, left it's mark.
We thought we were making progress over the years. Measuring her ability to relate to people and things, regain language (she had no language skills at age 4), and start to integrate into normal life. She advanced years emotionally and mentally while with us here.
But, the early damages were too great, it seems. As we overcame one set of issues, others would come up. The seizures were the last "nail" so to speak. Once that happened, and the events around her altered behaviour, too many people from the "system" got involved, and she found out "Wow, I can manipulate everyone." The past few months she has tried to destroy what family we have made, and has done things that have been impossible to over come.
In the process she has injured herself, and others.
This weekend was the final event, which those of you who feel my absence here has affected you personally will appreciate.
She had been released from treatment early in the week, and things were OK (as they always were) for a few days. She started acting up again, in little ways, then at the wedding Saturday (my wifes brother was remarried) she was getting more and more ramped up because she could not be the center of attention. At the grandparents afterwards (it was about a 3 hour ceremony with lunch) she still had not calmed down, and we decided enough was enough and we would just go home. She didn't like that, and got mad (as she always did).
I saw her ready to run, and just missed getting the door. I chased, and slipped, and caused major injury to myself. Almost got 911'd myself -- but I was lucky. As a doctor I knew I could probably avoid going to the hospital (since I was breathing), but that was about all I was doing. Let me add one more voice to those who say movies are "fake" since anyone who gets up and walks (much less runs) after a crushing blow to their ribs is obviously in the movies (or a superman).
She was found over a mile away by the police, and she tried to run on them several times. She got away, and tried to jump in front of a truck. Actually, she did, but the truck missed her. Well... she got 302'd, and those who got injured had to recover.
She is now "safely" locked away, at least for 30-60 days now, because of the suicide attempt. They will not be pushing for us to take her home. Her new doctor has agreed that she needs placement, and that she needs a locked institution for atleast awhile while she works out her anger, and feelings that running is a game, and solves her problems.
Mom is of course a wreck -- "I'm a failure as a mom"... but that is natural. What is also natural, is that the "system" doesn't understand why they are seeing this now, since we had been able to care for her for so long. She is just too big, and running too often for us to keep at home.
Fortunately, she is 'full out' now, and showing them the full extent of what we had been dealing with.
What this means, and I know it sounds somewhat cold, is that I have my life back, and we can start healing as a family, and trying to deal with what has happened to us the past 4 months or so, and the new reality that she will need outside care/therapy for awhile.
For those who have felt my absence has impacted them personally, cheer up. I'll be back, and catching up with what has been left hanging for the past 4 months or so.
For everyone else, who has expressed their support and concern privately and otherwise, we really do thank you, since the random "We are thinking about you" messages have really helped during this period.
Oh, and as a foot note.... for those who are interested in how black the cloud that has been over me is, in addition to the family issues, and the family injured in the WTC events, yesterday my sister in law and my neice and nephew were taken for anthrax testing, after a package of unknown white powder was found in her offices area (the kids had been there the day before). She is a professor at a University here, so they took the threat (or unknown) seriously.
It has been said what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. If that is true, a few more events, and I'll be ready to enter myself in the He Man contests.
PUGDOG� Enterprises, Inc.
The best way to contact me is to NOT use Email.
Please leave a PM here.
Ghost of Pugdog (?)