When she sits down on a sofa opposite me in a Berlin hotel room that was dull, she's subdued and gently spoken, fidgeting with a long tasselled scarf. She exudes a rawness, an untempered susceptibility and melancholy that makes you worry if she’s OK. It’s the same quality, presumably, about which she said, “Every man I’ve loved has tried to locate it, repair it, soothe it.” But Arquette, 46, doesn’t want saving, and never has. Not by Nicolas Cage, whom she met when she was 18, who proposed and whom she finally married at 27. Not by Paul Rossi, the Argentine musician with whom she had a son, Enzo, at 20 and from whom she break when their infant was a month old. Not the actor, by her second husband Thomas Jane, with whom she's a daughter, Harlow, 11, and whom she divorced in 2011. She comes from a long line of free spirits and performers, from a 18th-century explorer via her great grandparents, a vaudeville double performance, to her parents, an actor and an actress-turned-therapist and poet, who imposed no rules or boundaries on their kids. All five of the Arquette siblings ended up performers also: Rosanna, David, Richmond and Alexis (born Robert) are all actors. Patricia, “ the classic middle child, the mother hen”, was brought around question authority, to believe that anything was possible, even religious harmony: she was sent to a Catholic school, and her dad was her mom Jewish, Muslim. She was harshly disabused of that idea when, at the age of five or six, a teacher told her that she couldn’t take communion because your mom is Jewish and she’s going to hell”. “You understand what,” reacted the youthful Arquette, who until that moment had desired to be a nun, “I believe your Jesus and my Jesus are not same.” Associated Articles Golden Globes: all the winners 12 Jan 2015 Sundance 2014: first verdict 20 Jan 2014, Boyhood Is this what adolescence looks like? celebrity news paris hilton celebritynews.io 25 Apr 2014 Boyhood: 'the achievement of a lifetime' 23 Feb 2015 Eventually! Boyhood liberates on screen mums 11 Jul 2014 So it shouldn’t really come as a surprise when, four minutes into our conversation, this other side of the mild-mannered Arquette seems. It comes for which she has won the Best Supporting Actress award at the Golden Globes and as we’re talking about her movie, Boyhood, by which she plays a single mother who at one point gets herself in an abusive relationship –. It ’s like the blinders go up: she shuts out it. It’s really old world female,” she starts. “Now, I wouldn’t be like this. I'd climb across the table and stab him in the head with a fork.” As she says this, she's upwards, miming precisely the same action and coming at me, her fist clenched about fanciful cutlery. It startling, I laugh. She then sits back down, laughs also, and returns to her scarf. Patricia Arquette in the 1993 film True Romance (REX) It’s a sunny morning in the middle of the Berlin Film Festival, despite it being almost three hours long, the day after Boyhood has been screened to a full, rapt house. It’s one of the biggest draws of the festival, not only for its cast (Ethan Hawke also stars) and director (Before Sunrise’s Richard Linklater), but because it’s one of the most striking movies in years. Filmed in short fits over 12 years with precisely the same cast, it follows a son, Mason (Ellar Coltrane), and his family from when he's six to the day he arrives at university. It ’s amusing and black, heroic and, as Arquette puts it, “human and small”. When Linklater first approached her about the picture (“What are you doing for the next 12 years?” he asked), there was no script as well as the full storyline. At the start Mason’s parents (Arquette and Hawke) are estranged: she's struggling to make a life for her two children; he is a wannabe musician who doesn’t even have seat belts in his car when he picks them up for a visit. Linklater and his stars brainstormed the remainder as they went along, drawing inspiration. They're all justifiably enthusiastic about the result, and seeing it is an unusual experience: you need to keep reminding yourself that they didn’t desire to “age up” the cast for later scenes, or use prop houses to source ancient iPods and Obama/Biden bumper stickers. When I first learned about it, I was blown away says Arquette, dressed in a mash-up of polka dot silk skirt, ripped jeans, stripy sweater and platform high heel. The complications didn’t faze her – such as finding a week annually in everyone’s calendar, or the fact that why they were spending cash with no hope of a return for years the president of the studio repeatedly had to vindicate. This movie doesn't in any manner fit into a business model, notably in America. More and more of the business is run by bankers – the pictures that are smaller are gone, pretty much. And there is no obvious demographic with this picture: who’s going to need to view a movie about some youngsters growing up? A grandmother? They’re not tunnelling out of a prison or going into outer space – there’s no plot thing that makes it simple to sell Arquette with her ex husband Thomas Jane in 2010 (REX) Working mostly in secret, crew and the cast became really close. Seeing it now, it’s impossible for her to not relive the events of their off-screen lives: “All of that, I find it happening: ‘That’s right before my daughter was born, that’s when I got married [to Jane], that’s when I got divorced, that’s when Ethan got divorced [from Uma Thurman], that’s when Rick’s infants were simply born… That’s when Ellar’s father and mother split up, he’s a little more miserable there…’” You particularly feel for Coltrane, having his awkward teenage years (acne et al) sustained on film, something he signed up for when he couldn’t have comprehended what he was getting into. “ Right, right, ” she says. “I didn’t actually think about that until those moments hit. But they’re awesome children, and it’s excellent which they got the good part of acting – learning your craft and being start – but not the weird s— of, ‘Oh, you’re in a movie, you believe you’re cool?’” There was the wild call girl of True Romance (1993) who literally had to fight for her life, and the delicate bombshell of Lost Highway made to strip at gunpoint. In 1995 she said that 99 or 100 per cent of them are unbelievably sexual individuals”. Now she can see that “I wasn’t in my body completely. I was still trying to find my way. I’m glad to have been part of those jobs, and I do think there’s cogency in those narratives and with those filmmakers, but I was still breaking out of my eggshell with my membrane that is sticky on, not understanding who I was. Maybe I don’t know.” Arquette constantly needed to be an actress, but it came at a price. “When I was tiny, I was a real observer of human behaviour and I knew I needed to tell the human story, but I felt shy and unattractive and difficult. I didn’t are interested in being looked at. I remember when I was seven or six asking my mother why I was being looked at by folks. She said, ‘They’re looking at you because you’re a delightful little girl.’ But I did n’t believe her. And yet I put myself in a company where folks have to look at you. I believe I learnt to block it out.” Arquette continues to be involved in two of the most discussed courtships in Hollywood history. Her second husband Jane proposed by editing a Charlie Chaplin film to include a cameo of himself holding up cards saying ‘Will you marry me?’ and rented a cinema to screen it for her. She sent him on a quest to bring a black orchid and her JD Salinger’s autograph before she'd say yes when they met in a La diner after Cage proposed. By throwing an almighty tantrum at the airport in route to get married he passed the test, but destroyed everything. When they met again at an identical deli nine years later she proposed, and they were married within a couple of weeks. They kept the wedding a secret, and it has been widely believed that they separated after nine months keeping that quiet too until their divorce five years later. Nevertheless, as soon as I raise this she tells me it’s not accurate. Arquette with her ex husband Nicolas Cage in 1997 (REX) I didn’t feel that I needed to clarify that, but it was reported although “There were times when we weren’t living together because we were fighting. There were times when my mother was dying [ from breast cancer in 1997] and I was residing with her, taking good care of her. There were times when he was away working on a film. It was our thing. I still don’t believe like I owe it to anyone. It’s amusing when people are so wrong, and they put you in this position and determine who you are.” Her parents’ departures, within a couple of years of each other, deeply changed her and her sibs. “It was a horrifyingly painful wake-up call. It pulled us together. There were things that we didn’t get, stability and some construction, but we also got this spiritual depth that most folks never experience Soon afterwards she found she was pregnant. Her son Enzo was thrilled. “ I actually need to not be babied anymore, and He said, ‘It’s perfect time – you need to baby someone.’ I’m expecting, the way I’ve plotted it, I’ll be a grandmother by the time [ Harlow leaves dwelling ]. There’s a little pressure: ‘ You’re not bad for about eight years, Enzo, then you’d better get active,’” she cackles. I ’ve been a distinct parent to my son and my daughter we were kids together. I was hustling in the start.” Of course, she was in a different position, when Harlow was born, and the answer was a flat no when a producer asked her to lose her pregnancy weight,. “‘I completely disagree,’” she recalls telling him. “I needed to reveal the real world: you do n’t have to buy your mate’s constancy by searching a certain manner. If you’re really inside for the long haul, 10pound isn’t going to make – shouldn’t make – the world of difference She won (“I was lucky I 'd enough professional juice on my side that I 'd some power”) and was proven right: the show was a hit and won her an Emmy and three Golden Globe nominations. She still wields that power, secure in work (she will function as lead in CSI: Cyber, which starts this fall) and in herself, despite first impressions. She is in a relationship too new to talk about, but smiles when I inquire. I ’m really happy. It’s nice, you know? Like my character says in Boyhood it’s: ‘Is that all there is? I presumed there would be more I have felt that way before in cycles. Then occasionally you turn a corner and your life changes in five minutes. And you never saw it coming.” Go to: http://celebritynews.io/featured/2015/09/17/elizabeth-hurley-in-her-best-styles-and-colors/