peanuter at gmail
Aug 10, 2008, 7:03 AM
Post #2 of 4
(1639 views)
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Re: Internet justice delivered, criminals panic and run in despair
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May great justice be had! Whitehats enter my oven.
On Sun, Aug 10, 2008 at 7:39 AM, alan shimel <alan_shimel [at] yahoo> wrote:
> In the very end of the 16th edition of Defcon, the Squadron of Justice is
> proud
> to present the allegations and final resolution on the judgement of Alan
> Shimel
> for crimes against Humankind, Honor, Respect and the Queen.
>
> Alan Shimel is among the many C-level executives within the security
> industry
> that will be prosecuted under the Law of Internet Balance, which regulates
> the
> amount of useless information, marketing, lies and hype an individual might
> be
> able to spread in a certain amount of time.
>
> The Great Council of Internet Superheros, hereto grants permission to the
> Squadron of Justice, the Bl4qh4t L1b3r4t10n 4rmy and other supporting
> organizations to take reckless immediate action, to assure the correctness,
> security, integrity and righteousness of these legal proceedings.
>
> Alan Shimel has been producing an exceedingly huge amount of useless
> traffic,
> otherwise known as 'bullshit' by non-super-powered individuals, violating
> sections I, II, III, IV, V, VI and MAXINT of the Internet Law on Lies and
> Hype.
> >From his website, StillSecureAfterAllTheseYears (to be referred as
> StillInsecure
> AfterAllTheseYears onwards), he has distributed innumerable 'posts'
> containing
> excessive amounts of made up facts and misleading statements, as well as
> calling
> booth babes 'women without raunchy and without class'.
>
> Even though the Council and its supporting organizations are profound
> feminism
> detractors (since most feminists are bored, sex starved, life-lacking
> maniac-
> depressive lesbians), they do not condone nor allow acts against women of
> any
> kind in the digital realms of the Internet. Such despicable activities will
> be
> intensely monitored and punished. We know that feminists would be a lesser
> annoyance if they fucked a living being once in a while, but until that
> happens,
> be prepared for shortage of batteries and other portable electrical power
> due to
> dildo abuse.
>
> Currently operatives are investigating the potential Jewish roots of Alan
> Shimel
> and the consequences of a showdown against his lineage. Jew blood lines
> will not
> be tolerated in the digital realms, due to violations of sections VIII and
> XII
> of the Zion Elders Regulation Law ("possessing an ugly big nose and
> wrinkled face
> with lousy black hair, as well as a reckless craving for money and bright
> gold
> teeth").
>
> Stillsecure Inc. assets will be investigated for potential charges of Money
> laundering, malicious marketing practices and sponsoring of illegal
> conferences
> such as Blackhat Las Vegas and Defcon.
>
>
> <great justice>
>
> Alan Shimel
> Visa: ************6047
> Expire date: 09/2011
>
> (We reserve the Mastercard ending on 1740 for supporting the
> infrastructures
> of the Chamber of Internet Justice). Your wife (Bonnie) credit card ends on
> 6639 but awesome superheroes respect women.
>
> Address: 21455 Halstead drive
> City: Boca Raton
> State: Florida
> Zipcode: 33428
> Country: United States of Fucking America
> Phone: +1.5618526591
>
> Mother's maiden name: Goodkin (Serious?)
>
> You can also publish invited guest posts on Alan's blog at:
> b7e557dcbba22d68 [at] typepad
>
> Remember to spell check.
>
> You can access (if it remains available) his WhatsDoin' private section
> with username 'guest' and password 'pearl'.
>
> </great justice>
>
> You might be interested the revamped (in)Security Bloggers Network, the
> StillInsecureBlog (after all these years...), etc...
>
> http://www.stillsecureafteralltheseyears.com/
> http://networks.feedburner.com/Security-Bloggers-Network/
>
> Mailbox archives to follow, coming soon to your screen!
>
> Finally, the Council and related parties would like to produce a statement
> of
> intentions to ensure that our mission and objectives are clear.
>
> - The remnants of the hacking scene, otherwise known as the nowadays
> decaying Underground should be protected by all possible means.
>
> - Security 'researchers' and their ill-gained fame and public
> recognition must be questioned outside of the media and press. It is
> about time to see if they are up for the image they portray of themselves.
>
> - Security companies practices will be exposed. Use of advisories,
> leaking of exploits, advertisement of 0day, hyping of research and
> general scare mongering tactics employed by these commercial orgs. to
> spread FUD and boost the sales of their products. It's about time to
> take a decision about what side of the fence you want to be fronting.
> We've taken the decision a long time ago and we don't like you playing
> both sides.
>
> - Relationships of media and press with specific companies, their
> 'exclusivity' pseudo agreements and favors will be exposed. Yes, it's
> you Larry Seltzer. It's you Ryan Naraine. It's you Mr. Lemos. It's you
> Oprah. No wait, Tom Cruise killed her already.
>
> - We don't want public recognition, fame nor personal gain. We are
> putting ourselves on the line for what we deem worth to risk ourselves.
> We could well be archiving your mailboxes, research work, company memos,
> personal photos and videos, credit statements, bank accounts, etc,
> without mentioning a word about it, and you would never notice. We've
> been doing it for years. Some of our archives date years back. The
> Internet does not forget. Just because we don't upload a torrent to
> The Pirate Bay with all your files doesn't mean we don't have them.
> grsecurity does not protect you. Symantec does not protect you. HD Moore
> and Mark Ranum don't protect you. We protect you when we decide to stop
> using our awesome super powers against you.
>
> And that is not gonna happen.
>
> Your end might be not nigh yet, but we are getting goddamn fucking close to
> it.
>
> Good night and good luck, you guys will certainly need it. The game starts
> now.
> For the lulz. For justice. For the fallen comrades. Suck our awesome super
> powered dicks.
>
>
>
>
>
> _______________________________________________
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>
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