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The Gossamer Threads Gadget-Off

Ian Author

Gossamer Threads Gadget-Off

At Gossamer Threads, we love our shiny gadgets, whirring gizmos, and fantastical doodads. Christmas was kind to us, and many of us received a whirlwind of gadgets (or at least the monies to buy them) for gifts. The collective battery power used by all of our little electronics could probably power a small city.

This recent surge of electronics accumulation has sparked a competition in our office. Whose gadgets are the best? Who is the Gadget King??

Judging will be based on total scores accumulated from gadgets each entrant owns. Points will be awarded for each category of gadget, arbitrarily defined by yours truly.

This means that a keychain light you picked up from a souvenir store during your last vacation in Medicine Hat, Alberta is not going to garner as many points as say, a freakin’ Japanese fan-dancing robot.

Category/Point System

  • Pity gadget – 1 point (+1 if embarrassing)
    • A gadget that wouldn’t impress even your great great grandpappy.
  • Anything attached to a keychain – 2 points (+1 if exceptional)
    • Let’s face it – You can’t impress anybody with something attached to your keys. Unless it’s a fully functional keychain lightsaber.
  • iPods/Portable Entertainment – 3 points
    • iPods are as ubiquitous as the plague was in the medieval ages. Except the plague didn’t continuously come out with new, better and thinner versions of itself, preceded by a huge keynote delivered by a smug, darkly dressed man. Or maybe it did…I dunno, I’m not a historian.
  • Cellphones – 3 points (+1 if exceptional)
  • Laptops – 4 points (+1 if exceptional)
    • If you actually need a laptop for work, then good for you! If you don’t need one for work, and bought one for shits and giggles – awesome for you!
  • “Damn that’s awesome” Gadgets – 5 points
    • These types of gadgets will invoke the above response immediately after the person bares witness to it.
  • “What the hell does that do?” Gadgets – 8 points
    • These types of gadgets will also invoke the above response immediately after baring witness to it, and will require you to go on at lengths about how the thing works.

Contestants

We’ve lined a bunch of Gossamer employees who think they’ve got the best gadget collection – enough to be named the Gadget King of Gossamer Town.

Let’s deal with the scrubs first…

Amateur Gadgeteer

Tarrin

Gadgets Description Points
Motorola RAZR Tarrin’s first cellphone – and get this…she JUST got it a month ago. 3
Cellphone Shaped Calculator A textbook Pity Gadget. This particular calculator doesn’t even have the numbers 5 or 8. 1
Stapler We had to let Tarrin pick something. I suppose it would be a fine gadget during the 18th century. 1
(+1 pathetic bonus)
  Total Gadget Score 6

Janna

Gadgets Description Points
Acer Aspire Laptop This thing is huge. No bonus points awarded for sheer size. 4
iPod Nano The nano itself was wrapped in a lovely leather case of sorts – but too bad prettifying your nano doesn’t make them any more gadgetier. 3
Total Gadget Score   7

Bao (AKA, Apple FanBoy)

Gadgets Description Points
Apple iPhone Bao did some uber h4x0r1ng to get this working on the Roger’s network. 3
(+1 1337 bonus)
Apple MacBook Nothing needs to be said here that Steve Jobs hasn’t already preached. 4
iPod
(2nd generation!)
This relic of technology still stands proud in its cradle by Bao’s desk. 3
Total Gadget Score   11

Cellphones Galore! DS Lite Tri-Force Gadgets Gadgets Everywhere
Underneath the gadgets are actually solar charging panels…can you smell the geekdom?


Gadget Head

Virginia

Gadgets Description Points
Nintendo DS Lite Virginia and I went all over Vancouver hunting for these babies when they first launched. 3
Sony Vaio – TZ160 An ultra portable lappy that even Virginia says is too small! (FYI – Virginia is vertically challenged) 4
(+1 bonus for being ultra portable!)
Canon Rebel XT DSLR What sounds like a weapon used by the Terran forces to decimate the Zerg actually shoots pictures at weddings and pretty flowers. 5
(Not your average digicam.)
iPod Shuffle - 3
Total Gadget Score   16

Alex

Gadgets Description Points
Blackberry 8830 It’s a smartphone! 3
(+1 for smartphone goodness!)
Treo 650
Nokia E861
Panasonic W4 Laptop - 4
(+1 bonus for being ultra portable!)
Total Gadget Score   17

Ian

Gadgets Description Points
HTC P4000 It makes the Transformers transforming sound when I slide the keyboard open and closed! 3
Nintendo DS Lite My vehicle for Tetris victory. 3
Asus EEE PC 4G 701 Miniature awesomeness. Extra points for being bought for shits and giggles. 4
(+1 bonus for being ultra portable, and +5 for being just damn awesome)
iPod Nano - 3
Total Gadget Score   20

Adrian

Gadgets Description Points
Sony Vaio – TX850 Adrian brings this in and pretends he needs it to code. He’s actually just watching his stocks plummet in value – in real time. 4
(+1 bonus for being ultra portable!)
Nintendo DS Lite Picross DS is his best game. He’ll always be second best in Tetris though. First place is reserved for the Tetris Master (aka Ian Pham) 3
Sony Ericsson W580i It has a pedometer! 3
(+1: It has a pedometer!)
Polar 200SD A heart rate monitor and speed/distance confabulator. 8
(Upon first glance, you’d think it was an explosive device)
iPod Shuffle - 3
Total Gadget Score   22

Gadgets Piled High Many Gadgets on the Flo! Ultra-Portables
How high gadgets can stack are a good measure of awesomeness


The King is Crowned

Gadget King

Aki totally blows all of the entrants out of the water. I didn’t bother writing any descriptions for them, as I would be hard pressed to find something witty to say about each and every one of these electronic wonders – like SOLAR PANELS W/USB TECHARGING POWERCHAIN??? What on Earth would you need this for Aki?!

Aki

Gadgets Description Points
Nokia N810 Internet Tablet - 8
(+5: anything with a 7inch screen and a slide out keyboard is damn awesome in my books)
QStarz Q1000 GPS Mouse - 8
Logitech Wireless Music System - 8
Canon D40 DSLR - 5
Blackberry Pearl - 3
(+1 for smartphone goodness)
Vosonic VP8360 - 8
Archos PMA 430 - 3
iPod Video - 3
Nintendo DS Lite - 3
Solar Panels w/ USB Techarging Powerchain - 8
(+5; solar powered anything is crazy – except for calculators)
LED Clock Projection Keychain - 2
(+5; project time onto any surface?! The future is wondrous)
Total Gadget Score   75

Not only does he have more gadgets, he has more “What the hell does that do” gadgets than Tarrin and Janna’s gadget count combined!

Aki Gadgets
Aki’s gadgets are marked by the red circle. Tarrin’s stapler is put to shame

And so I must crown Aki, as the Gadget King of Gossamer Town, 2008.

May you reign for years to come and with a mighty iron fist (the iron fist counts as another gadget).