Your typical programming house is fueled primarily by a combination of coffee and pop, a tendency to which Gossamer Threads is no exception, as rivers of these precious nectars flow in torrents around here.
But what shall we do with the empties as they pile up and up?
On any given day, you can find cans of soda goodness strewn about on a Gossamer programmer’s desk.
Recently, while we were gathering up a batch of empties for a run to the bottle depot, a pop can art sculpture (a close cousin to the Pop Art genre) competition broke out between Ian, Michael and myself.
I went first, creating a beautifully symmetrical work, which incorporated native kitchen elements. Title: ‘Man’s inhumanity to man, and a houseplant’, referencing the clear undertones of class struggle contained in the piece. It was clear from the outset that this entrant would be the one to beat.
Score: 9 out of 10
Ian’s creation was more chaotic in nature (One might even say ‘deranged’). Controversy briefly plagued the entry when packing tape was suspected in its construction, but Ian vindicated himself in demonstrating how the arch effects were created by interlocking the tabs, a manoeuvre barely permitted by the rules. Oddly titled: ‘Suga Palace: No Vacancy,’ Ian had this to say about his piece:
“I’m quite confident in my entry. It is unique, bold and defies gravity both in appearance and the hearts of spectators. Of course it deserves to win. My inspiration was man’s constant urge to sore higher, higher, and HIGHER into the skies of innovation and love.”
Score: 6 out of 10
(2 points deducted for excessive rambling- he went on in the above vein for some time)
Our Michael rounded out the entries with his piece dubbed: “Imprisoned among fellow prisoners”. The work was universally observed to be something of a knock-off of Tarrin’s entry (he may not have been in attendance when I was performing my feat of artistry), and several full cans of pop were used, in direct circumvention of the rules, leading to his ejection from the contest.
When asked how he came up with the idea for his entry, Michael’s eyes grew misty as he replied: “I had a dream last night while sleeping under my desk dealing with my life as a programming slave.” Regarding how he felt about having been disqualified from the competition, a tear slipped down his cheek as Michael responded: “True art doesn’t need competition.”
Allegations of bias on the part of the judging staff (consisting of myself), have been extensively investigated by a neutral ombudsman (me again), and found to be entirely without merit.